Tahmina self review

Writer’s Name: Tahmina Haque

Paper Title: The quality of Heritage Diet vs. Present Diet

Date: 03/18/11

Editor’s Name: Tahmina Haque

Peer Review Worksheet

1.      What can you identify Introduction: How does the first paragraph introduce both the paper’s topic and the writer’s approach or general conclusion? Is the first sentence attention-getting and relevant to the topic?

 -  I think the introduction is ok. It is clearly related to the topic that writer wants to compare   and it unambiguously gives a view point about the whole essay

 - Yes, its first sentence is attention getting and relevant to the topic. 

1.   As a thesis statement? (Re-write it below) Suggest, if possible, a way to improve the introduction or thesis statement.

- Thesis: “the quality of ingredients for this recipe, like rice, vegetables, lentils and spices has changed over the time because food is now grown and processed commercially by using chemicals that helps make the food less healthy than before”.

- Suggestion: “by using chemicals from soil to food, the ingredients for this recipe like rice, vegetable and lentils has become less healthy than before”.

3.                  Structure: Can you identify the organization of the paper from the main idea of each paragraph? What are the main concepts explored in the paper? Does each paragraph make a relevant point that is distinct from what has already been covered? What are the main conclusions?

- Each paragraph has its thesis statement that is very easy to identify because it is the first sentence of every paragraph. Also the organization of the paper can be identified from the main idea of each paragraph.

- Of course thesis sentence is related to its concept. The main point of this paper is about the quality of food and how this quality became bad over the time.

- Each paragraph explored is clearly related to its thesis. All the paragraph of this essay has a relevant point that already has been covered.  

4.                  Clarity/Style: Did you find distracting grammar, punctuation, spelling, or word usage problems? Identify any patterns or themes you detect. Is the tone of the essay formal? If you find awkward sentences, try to explain why they don’t make sense to you.

- This paper has some grammar and clarity issue.

- There are some repetitions. Some sentences are really long.

-Need to pay attention to the verb form and word form.

5.                  Resources: Does the author clearly identify his/her sources? Is proper in-text and reference format used?

- Sources are very clear and that can be identified very easily.

- Writer paid attention to use qualitative sources and she put the work cited at the end of this essay that is really important.

6.        What is/are the paper’s greatest strength(s)? Explain.

- The strength of this paper is to its good organization. It also provided all the information that is collected from the reliable sources.